A Way to Follow in the Darkness

“Do you feel like we’ve been doing this lately?”

I floated my hands in the air, one hovering just above and parallel to the other. They held position for a moment—then, like ships passing in the night, they moved past in opposite directions, one never so much as grazing the other.

“Yeah… I wanted to ask you about that.”

It was two and a half months into the relationship, and the new beau and I were having our first spat of miscommunication. And that’s all it was, really—there was never any arguing, never any anger. But, between our jobs and busy schedules, it had been nearly two weeks since we’d seen each other. Our momentum had slowed. Phone calls and texts just weren’t cutting it anymore. One misunderstanding quickly became two, two became three, three became four.

I remember feeling frustrated. Misunderstood. Distant. Confused as to how we could be talking every day, yet not truly comprehending what the other was saying. I knew that he loved me, and I loved him—but I couldn’t understand the disconnect. It was like a fuse had blown somewhere, but I couldn’t find the tripped circuit.

Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly. Proverbs 14:29

I’ve learned a thing or two about tripped circuits since moving into my new, old house last summer. Contrary to popular belief, you really can’t expect the power to magically come back on when all you’re doing is wandering around the house, pointing your flashlight ahead of your steps as you move from room to room, testing switches and stubbing toes. You have to go to the source. (For me, that means a trip into my creepy basement to check out the circuit breaker box.)

Similarly, you can’t expect to fix broken communication when all you’re doing is relying on your own senses and perception of the situation—guided only by the narrow scope of your own flashlight, trusting only so far as you can see. 

A person may think their own ways are right, but the Lord weighs the heart.
Proverbs 21:2

I knew things would improve once we got together in person and talked things out (and we eventually did)—but for those two weeks, Andy and I just couldn’t find the opportunity. If it wasn’t one thing, it was another: long hours at work, winter weather, even Covid. It wasn’t intentional, but boy, we sure weren’t lacking in excuses to avoid a less-than-comfortable conversation.

That got me thinking, though.

Our God is the God of infinite patience, mercy, wisdom and love. Yet, I wonder how often we give Him reason to say to us, “My child, I feel like we’re doing this right now—passing each other in the night, though I am illuminating a righteous path before you. Why do you not follow? Why, you of little faith, do you not seek Me first—when I am the Way, the Truth and the Life?” 

“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:4-5

Dear Sisters in Christ, when we are trying to work through a situation larger than ourselves, when we feel frustrated and confused and distant from God, when it feels like the lights have gone out and the scope of our own understanding only gets us so far… how can we expect peace and restoration apart from the Source of all creation? 

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. John 1:1-4

If we walk through this life trying to sort out our problems and guilts and worries apart from God, without consulting His Word—hearing His promises but not living by them, convincing ourselves that we “can do all things through Christ” when it’s convenient for us and when we have the time—well, we’ll have much bigger fish to fry than just a blown fuse and a stubbed toe. 

Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. 2 Corinthians 3:4-5

I get that you’re busy—we all are. The house needs cleaning. The dog needs a walk. School drop-off is in an hour. You’re on a tight deadline at work. There’s nothing for dinner. Your ailing parents need attention and care; you need care. At some point in the day, you hope you can at least squeeze in a shower.

It might not feel intentional, letting that Bible collect dust on the shelf. But it is certainly not bringing us any closer to Him.

Unless the Lord had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. Psalm 94:17-19

In my line of work—that is, working in a rescue mission—I’ve heard some say that, really, everyone is just one tragedy away from winding up on the streets. We’ve seen it time and again: abuse. Divorce. Death of spouse. Job loss. Overdose. There are all sorts of reasons a person may wind up homeless—and, quite often, that individual doesn’t see it coming.

Now, if those folks don’t see it coming when a tangible event is about to happen that will put them out of their home, how much more blind are we when our hearts begin to slip away from simple habits of faith that will keep us rooted in the foundation of Jesus Christ?

Because, really, when you think about it, today’s “I’ll read my Bible later” could lead to tomorrow’s “I think I’ll skip church this morning.” And tomorrow’s extra sleep, as innocent and wonderful as it sounds, could mean a slippery slope towards a future where we are not seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. 

It’s a bit extreme, I know. But Sisters, if we are not running to God with our problems, hungry for his Word and thirsting for His grace… then, really, we’re all just one bad day or decision or calamity away from suddenly running from the Lord. 

Like Jonah did.

The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.”

But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord. Jonah 1:1-3

 Wickedness had overtaken Nineveh, and the Lord instructed Jonah to go there and preach against its evil ways. Instead, Jonah ran away.

Whether by pride or fear, so determined was Jonah to avoid his call that, rather than obeying God’s will under His protection, he chose to face the dangerous seas and flee to a faraway city. As we all know, it was during this voyage that God sent a great storm upon the ship, setting off a chain of events in which Jonah was thrown overboard and swallowed by a massive fish. 

Jonah was selfish. His first instinct wasn’t to heed the Word of God, but to turn from it, relying on his own understanding. The Lord had every reason to punish him for this disobedience. And punishment is surely what it looked like as Jonah was swallowed alive. 

By human standards, it seems a horrible situation: three days and three nights in the putrid, hot blackness of a sea creature’s stomach, sour bile and half-digested food circling all around you. But it was through this horrible situation that God was granting mercy to Jonah, preserving his life and providing him time to be still, to reflect and to pray—just as He was granting compassion to Nineveh by giving it time to repent. And so it did, once Jonah returned to his faith and heeded the Lord’s call. 

And even when Jonah had run from the Lord, even when he later expressed his frustration because he just couldn’t understand why God would extend his compassion to an enemy of Israel (“O Lord, is this not what I said when I was still at home? That is why I was so quick to flee to Tarshish.” Jonah 4:2) … 

Our God is a God of infinite patience, mercy, wisdom and love. 

In His great compassion, God does not rebuke Jonah, but uses His servant’s sulking as a teaching moment. God explains His concern for every creature—taking no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but desiring rather that they turn from their ways and live (Ezekiel 33:11): 

But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city? (Jonah 4:11)

When Andy and I finally had the chance to sit down together and put all of our thoughts out into the open—I tell you, it was like a dimmed bulb had finally been changed. The lights came back on, so to speak, and we were able to see and understand each other clearly once more. By digging into our words and expanding on our thoughts, we not only gained a deeper understanding of our communication styles, but we strengthened our relationship, period. 

Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding. Proverbs 3:13

So, too, can we gain deeper understanding and build a stronger relationship with God as we dig into His Word.

My dear Christian sisters, if you are feeling distant from God, if you are questioning Him or wondering what He’s doing in your life, don’t try to speak for Him. Don’t rely on the temporary comfort of a world that will only distract you from the permanence of His Word. 

The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the Lord blows on them. Surely the people are grass. The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever. Isaiah 40:7-8

Go to the Source. Pray to Him. Look to His Word for guidance—and when I say “look to His Word,” I mean set a goal right now to read one chapter of a book of the Bible per day. Underline one sentence. Read the footnotes. Take a single verse and define it, word-by-word. Consider this: if you had to explain John 3:16 to an ESL learner, how would you do it? (Too easy? Ok then, start working through Romans.) 

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do. James 1:22-25

At the end of the day, my point is this: we have to do the work, and we have to walk the talk. If we want to strengthen our connection with God and keep the lights on in this relationship, we must practice good communication with Him. And sometimes, that’ll mean having that uncomfortable, tail-between-your-legs conversation with “the One who sees me” (Genesis 16:13). Because when we look outside of Christ for answers and seek godless shortcuts around our problems, that’s when we pass Him like a ship in the night—getting lost in the darkness of sin, starving ourselves of His abundant peace and grace. 

And if you’ve drifted out too far at any point, feeling frustrated and confused, distant and disconnected… remember this:

If God so loved even the cattle of the wicked city of Nineveh, so much that he put Jonah through a whale and back in order to save them, so much that He ordained and used Jonah’s maritime situation to foreshadow the Savior who would die on the cross and be raised to new life three days later…

How much more then, oh daughters of the King, does He love you and desire a heavenward relationship with you?

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9