Intentionally Orchestrated

“Lord, please close this door. I don’t want to do this.” 

It was a little over a year ago now, and I had just pulled up to my first job interview in almost 10 years after staying home with my kids. 

“Lord, if this is not specifically YOUR WILL for my life, please don’t let me get this job. 

Lord, if you are even neutral to this, please don’t let me get this job. Just close this door.

Lord, unless you specifically and intentionally orchestrated this opportunity for me personally for your purpose, please, please, please... close. this. door. Amen.”

I had my own ideas of what I might do when my children were all in school.

I might finally finish my novel, delving into the world of publishing with its query letters and agents, honing my craft and steeling myself to rejection letters.

I had a few vague remodeling projects planned, wondering if I could really accomplish my visions with the power of YouTube tutorials and borrowed power tools.

I even considered pursuing my masters, maybe even a doctorate, so that I could prove myself worthy of inclusion in groups that certainly weren’t judging me as harshly as I’d been judging myself.

But God held the door wide open as I walked through, flourishing the wind to my back, and making it perfectly clear that yes, He had heard my prayer, and yes, He was answering it. 

“If the Lord delights in a man’s way, He makes his steps firm.” Psalm 37:23

It has been a year of abundant blessing. 

It has also been a year of growth, undeniably, as I have dwelt in a place I had not envisioned for my life. I have, almost daily, found both peace and humility, working toward that which God intends for me, not that which may bring me the most glory, or maximize my earthly potential. 

But that’s one of the secrets to life, right? That we’re not here for us. That I’m not here for me. 

“And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.” 2 Corinthians 5:15

It is paramount when the power of prayer allows us to discern God’s purpose for our lives. If I had not prayed in earnest the way that I did, I do believe I would often be miserable, with punctured pride, easy annoyance, and abating purpose. 

I absolutely trust the words of Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

How often are we clay, insisting to the potter that we are a vase instead of trusting him, consulting him, and allowing him to mold us according to His plan.

“Yet you, Lord, are our Father.

We are the clay, you are the potter;

we are all the work of your hand.” Isaiah 64:8

I’m so grateful that God has led me the way that he has, instead of leaving me to my own oscillating whims. There are blessings and contentment to be found in the understanding that God has a purpose for our lives. It is easier to withstand the inevitable struggles that wash over us in this sinful world when we hold to the promises of Him who not only holds, but intentionally knits together the very fabric of the universe. 

Jeremiah 29:11-13 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”