Navigating Life with Jesus
“I guess I just need to mentally adjust.”
Not exactly the words of support you want to hear from your new beau after explaining your views on premarital intimacy. Again.
But this isn’t a post about dating. This is a post about adjustment.
We often don’t really think about it, do we? Temperature drops, so we throw on an extra layer. Waistline is growing, so we choose more salad and less fries. Daylight Savings Time kicks in, so we prepare extra coffee for the morning. In so many cases, adjustment in our daily life is a no-brainer.
But sometimes adjustment is hard. Maybe you’re adjusting to life with a spouse — or life suddenly without one. Maybe you’re adjusting to a new sleep schedule after having a baby. Maybe you’re adjusting to an empty home after sending that baby off to college. Or maybe you’ve never adjusted to any of these things, but you’re trying to get used to a life in which all of your friends suddenly are.
Maybe you’re in distress because, for whatever reason, life just doesn’t feel right at the moment and you know you need to make a change, but you don’t know how.
“Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.” Psalm 9:10
The very concept of adjustment has been on my heart a lot lately. Last month marked two years since I returned from a challenging year and a half in the Asian missions field, which also began a very long, frustrating, and confusing adjustment period. I thought the hardest part of it all would be adjusting to a different culture. In reality, it was coming to terms with the fact that, no matter how virtuous I thought they were, my expectations for this journey were not God’s expectations.
“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21
Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re fighting against God’s plan for our lives, and we struggle. But even when we’re struggling with (or against) his plan for our lives, there is a silver lining: our hardships provide opportunity for us to cry out to the Lord for help. As he takes us by the hand and straightens our path, God patiently reminds us to lean on him, all the while doing some heavy-duty work on our souls, adjusting:
our expectations for this life – “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble…”
our perspective – “But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)
our focus — But our citizenship is in heaven... (Philippians 3:20)
and, sometimes quite literally, our direction — Some wandered in desert wastelands, finding no way to a city where they could settle… Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle. (Psalm 107: 4-7)
When you think about it, these periods where you are trying to adjust to a new normal, those moments when life feels so incredibly uncertain and confusing and you’re trying your best but you still feel friction and dissonance in your soul because what you want doesn’t agree with what life is serving you — these times don’t have to be as big a struggle as we make them out to be. They can be opportunities for growth, and growth in our relationship with God.
Now, I realize it can sometimes be hard to know if God is trying to reroute our hearts. Heck, it took a dangerous virus to finally convince me that maybe, just maybe, I shouldn’t stay in a position that was making me so unhappy. (This was over two years ago, so no, it wasn’t COVID-19.) Similarly, it wasn’t until he was literally blinded that Paul realized how wrong he had been in his persecution of Christians and began living as a true son of God — suffering for Jesus’ name and preaching him as Messiah (Acts 9).
“Blessed is the one whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.” Job 5:17
Certainly there are times when the Father’s rerouting is a relatively gentle nudge, and times when it’s a violent yank from oncoming traffic. In any case, these trials not only allow us to cry out to the Lord for help, but they increase our awareness of our need for him in our lives in the first place. (After all, this is the Lamb of God and Savior of the world we’re talking about!)
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
Let’s approach God’s educational providence a different way. Consider the popular (non-biblical) saying, “You can’t direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails.” The common understanding here is that, once you have awareness of a challenging situation in your life (the wind), you can change your attitude (the sails) around it so that, presumably, not only will the situation be easier, but it will serve you and take you in a fruitful direction rather than a harmful one.
But guess who’s steering the boat in this metaphor? Better yet, guess who built the boat? (He controls the waves, too!)
Adjusting the sails of our lives is usually only a struggle when we are not fully submitting to and embracing God’s wisdom and control as captain of our cruiser, Lord of all the earth — jobs only he can do. So why shouldn’t we trust him? Our Savior has seen literally every kind of storm there is, and not one of them has ever been able to keep him down. Not persecution, not ridicule, not torture, not even death — and certainly not some virus.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
And here’s where our Heavenly Father isn’t like a regular dad, he’s like a cool dad:
Our God is so deeply invested in his love and plan for us that, by his word and Holy Spirit, he not only guides us through the rough waters of life to our heavenly destination, but he allows us to be a part of the navigation, teaching us and using us in our hardships to accomplish his almighty will.
Think of Jesus calming the storm in Mark 4 (or Matthew 8). When violent weather came upon their boat, Jesus’ disciples must have been terrified, frantically adjusting whatever sails or ropes they could to avoid turning over. They didn’t understand how their Teacher could be sleeping during such a perilous event. “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” they yelled to him (Mark 4:38).
When they finally decided they were desperate and scared enough to cry out for his help, he spoke and dismissed the storm, deliberately showing them not only the power he wields, but the patience and love he has for his children — not to mention the patience he has for their learning curve.
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” Proverbs 9:10
Jesus could have calmed that storm in his sleep. But he is intentional in how he teaches us. It was through this event (among many others) that his disciples’ faith was tested and strengthened, preparing them to go out into the world and be fishers of men. And it is in the storms of our lives that God provides the same opportunities to us through his Holy Spirit and amazing grace.
“In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:6
Yes, Jesus is intentional in his lessons. Some he provides to increase our joy of faith and hope in him; others to be our shield.
When it comes to spiritual gifts rooted in Christ like perspective, awareness, understanding, focus and faith — hold them close, and hold them fast. Put on that full armor of God. You will need it for all the times you run into people eager to adjust you to the patterns of this earth. Show them the love of God, but be on your guard, for “your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).
Which brings me back to that new beau I mentioned earlier.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2
Spoiler alert: we didn’t last long. Our chemistry was strong and immediate — as were his inquiries into sensitive topics — but early on he confessed that he had been struggling in his relationship with God for a while. “I’ve been there,” I sympathized. In spite of my patience and reassurances, however, he quickly made it clear that embracing my commitment to Christ was going to be not only a big adjustment for him, but an unwilling sacrifice.
I know I said this wasn’t going to be a dating post, but ladies, at this point I would be remiss if I didn’t share this encouragement from a dear friend: “If a man isn’t willing to understand you and be patient with what he wants, if he’s not fascinated by who you are and your conviction, and if that turns him away from you and not in toward you — he’s not the one for you and he never was.” (ZS)
Dear sisters, if you are struggling with having joy in your convictions or find yourself wandering in a period of adjustment, know that you are not alone, and know that God is at work in your life! When you are faced with uncertainty and feel the need to adjust your expectations, perspective or focus to God’s standards, know that it doesn’t have to be a struggle. Let it be an opportunity for growth. Let God work on you instead of fighting his rerouting.
Remember — even Paul needed time to learn the lesson of his peace and contentment in Christ, years after seeing the glorified Lord Jesus on the road to Damascus and being baptized. It was in the schooling of his daily life, and especially in the great suffering he would experience, that he’d learn his most important lesson: that no earthly fear or uncertainty can defeat the holy peace, confidence and contentment we can have in Christ Jesus our Savior.
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Philippians 4:12
And the secret of Christian contentment is, of course, Christ — who does not change like shifting shadows. But he will not hesitate in adjusting your path so that you will end up exactly how and where he wants you: as his dearly loved first mate, seated at the right hand of God in heaven.
O'Lord I know You hear my cry
Your love is lifting me above all the lies
No matter what I face this I know in time
You'll take all that is wrong and make it right
“O’Lord” by Lauren Daigle