Getting Intimate with God
“I guess I need to make a more concerted effort in getting to know you instead of just going with the flow.”
Time? The not-too-distant past. Scene? The middle of a break-up.
Just two weeks before, Jason had been giving me butterflies and sweet daydreams of the future. Ours was a fast and strong chemistry, the likes of which I had never known. It didn’t even make sense. He, the introverted country boy who had admittedly fallen a bit from his faith; and me, the extroverted comedienne who once moved 8,000 miles away to share hers.
It didn’t make sense. And yet, it felt so right. …until it didn’t.
In the paths of the wicked are snares and pitfalls, but those who would preserve their life stay far from them. Proverbs 22:5
After only a few weeks, Jason’s interest seemed to wane. He became less talkative, and our time together didn’t feel all that special anymore. Surely the honeymoon period couldn’t be over already, I thought to myself.
Upon mentioning my concern, I discovered that, in fact, there was one part of me that he was still very eager to know—if you catch my drift.
“I’m used to growing a relationship physically first, then letting the intellectual stuff follow,” he had said. “I guess I need to make a more concerted effort in getting to know you instead of just going with the flow.”
Hold up. What happened to the guy who was happy to wait in patience and discipline and respectful curiosity because he had faith in what could be? (Also, it’s an effort to get to know me? Ouch.)
To Jason, it seemed that “going with the flow” and getting to know me were mutually exclusive things. He had admitted his lack of interest in the latter endeavor (and oh, what an endeavor that apparently is) which can only mean that the interest he did have must be what he knows as “going with the flow.”
That’s right, ladies. I’m talking about sex.
Though not quite in the same way that God intended it.
The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:6
One-night stands, no-strings-attached hook-ups, casual encounters and cheap thrills... Oh, how fickle and easily swayed is the “flow” of our world. And how woefully often do God’s people blindly go along with it, making lust-fueled decisions that, sure, can lead to incredible pleasure (or so I’ve heard)—but a pleasure that fades. A pleasure that does not sustain because it is not rooted in a true, lasting covenant. It is a superficial pleasure that, outside of Christ, creates only an imitation of joy, and one that forever leaves you drawing from a dry well.
Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:13-14
But getting to know someone and experiencing a shared “flow” were never meant to be mutually exclusive in God’s plan for His children.
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:24-25
When God created Adam and Eve, He made them to be united in a holy promise of marriage—a covenant meant to represent Christ’s relationship with His Church.
Then, God gave the gift of sex to Adam and Eve as a way not only to celebrate their covenant love, but as a way to deepen the bond between them. For there is nothing on this earth quite as intimate and as close as sexual intimacy. (Again, so I’ve heard.)
This sort of bond, in turn, glorifies God because it represents something so much more special, so much more intimate, and so much more fulfilling than we could ever fully comprehend:
Christ’s covenant love with His Church.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31-32
Despite the fall of man, sex within godly marriage remains a wonderful gift to this very day. It continues to be a celebration that points to the Father’s deep and intimate love for us—the most powerful love the world has ever known, establishing a promise so firm and strong that no amount of sin could ever break it.
See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 1 John 3:1
To that point, the lovely ladies at GirlDefined Ministries take the conversation of intimacy even further:
“The desire to experience true intimacy isn’t accidental. It’s not something we, as women, should shove aside or strive to satisfy in temporal ways. The desire to be truly known and truly loved is actually at the very core of who God created us to be. As our Father, God longs to know each one of us on a personal level. He wants to have a deep and meaningful relationship with each of us.
In fact, God uses a very specific Hebrew word throughout the Bible to help understand his intimate love for us. The word is yada. In Hebrew, the word yada literally means to know deeply or intimately.”
Kristen and Bethany go on to say that yada appears in the Old Testament more than 940 times.
Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:10
So you see, sexual intimacy and knowing someone are meant to go hand-in-hand—so to speak. Together, they weave a beautiful, intricate and intentional tapestry of God’s loving relationship with us. Shared in the marriage covenant, this yada celebrates the deep joy God gives His people as their bridegroom.
But sex outside of the marriage covenant is something God never intended for us. He has never wanted us to have sexual intimacy with partners who we do not truly know. Again, this sort of encounter might yield great pleasure for a night—but it would be temporary, and without much meaning at all. A “counterfeit intimacy,” as Kristen and Bethany call it.
For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. 1 John 2:16
Now, this is the point where you might be thinking, “Megan, how are you so confident in talking about sex and intimacy? Aren’t you, uh, a little inexperienced in that department?”
Yes. But through every hill and valley, every wonderful high and every shameful low of my thirty-three years on this earth, I have known the intimate, steadfast, and merciful love of God.
Our chemistry has always been off the charts. Our time together is always special. Even on my boring or grumpy days, He just can’t seem to stay away. He’s always interested, always there to listen, always quick to forgive. He renews me day by day—and He makes every concerted effort in getting to know me.
I don’t deserve this intimate, life-saving love. I, a sinner; and He, the Lord of all Creation. It doesn’t make sense.
And yet, God makes it right.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
Dear Sisters, God’s love for us truly is the most intimate, most profound relationship we will ever experience in our lives—because He created us, and because He knows us inside and out. And He not only knows the good, the bad and the ugly of our hearts, but He died for it. He died for every lustful thought, every casual encounter and every sin so that we might grow a deep and lasting closeness with Him. His is an intimacy so strong, it will carry us straight to salvation.
As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? Psalm 42:1-2
Ladies, I’m not here trying to give marriage advice. And I’m not here to cast a judgmental eye. I know plenty of wonderful, God-fearing people who have slipped up here and there, whether in action or thought. On my best day, I myself could not be removed from that list.
What I am here to say—and to single ladies, especially—is… Girl, I feel you. I know it’s tough out there. It’s getting harder and harder to swim against the current of this world when it would be so much easier “just going with the flow.”
But the “flow” of this world could never satisfy a heart that was created for a deeper, everlasting intimacy.
As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you. Isaiah 62:5
So stand firm. Pray that God would create in you a pure and steadfast heart. Look to trusted mentors and friends for encouragement. Avoid settings of temptation. Know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. Honor God with your thoughts and actions; repent when you fall short. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in Heaven.
And, most importantly, make that concerted effort in getting to know Jesus more and more each and every day of your life. Seek Him with all your heart, and you will not only find Him—you will find the greatest, most everlasting, most satisfying love story you’ll ever know.
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:17-19