A Season of Darkness - A God of Light

The days feel dark. 

You know those days. The ones where your to-do list sits unattended; you’re wearing the same clothes from yesterday… that you also slept in; your breakfast was more dessert than anything nutritious; the messages on your phone or email sit unopened… etc., etc.

We could go on, couldn’t we?

The gist of those dark days is that we feel alone, unworthy, undone, unmotivated, and frankly sometimes unloved. 

Now, here in Alaska, those dark days have a whole new meaning. In the winter it actually IS dark, doesn’t just feel like it. From about 3pm-10am the sun goes away, and we sit in darkness. 

This time of year is a huge change for me. When winter starts creeping up on me, I start to feel that darkness (literally and figuratively) creeping up on me, and maybe you do too.

Those unloved, unmotivated, unworthy, undone feelings crawl into my heart and make their homes. 

This year especially there is a lot of change, many reasons that might cause us to feel dark.

Changing seasons
The election
Different school schedules
Different work environments
… Some virus that seems to have come out of nowhere and disrupted every aspect of our lives and feels like it will never go back to the way it was before...
[insert any other change you’re going through right now]

For me there’s also the change of becoming a mom.

While this change was welcomed with so many joyful tears and a thankful heart, it can also sometimes be a change that brings those feelings of darkness. 

As I sit and watch my little daughter’s chest rise and fall, making sure she’s breathing while she naps, I fall even more in love with her but when I walk away from her, I not only carry with me the weight of the baby monitor but the weight of wishing for pre-baby days of freedom again.

As I wipe up drool and spit up from every piece of clothing she or I own, I thank Jesus for this little gift, but I miss the weeks where I only did one load of laundry (& it got folded immediately.) 

As I sing “I am Jesus Little Lamb” for the umpteenth time as she tries to break the world record for loudest cry into momma’s ear, I am thankful for a healthy baby who I get to hold, but I daydream of the nights I got to watch my favorite shows uninterrupted.

As my husband and I take turns rocking her to sleep… and back to sleep when she wakes up after 10 minutes… I find peace in the small moments of quiet, but I miss the quiet moments of connection with just my husband and me.

What changes are in your life right now? 

What darkness is creeping into your heart and making its home there?

I’m sure you could fill a notepad full of changes you’re experiencing and of dark moments you have each month, each week, and probably even each day. But don’t try to write them all down because you still have that to-do list to get to, your clothes to finally change, that shower to take, and those messages to respond to, right? 

Instead, answer this question— where is the light in your life right now? 

Many answers flood into my head… when my baby girl smiles at me, when I get to enjoy a warm cup of coffee in the chilly mornings, when my husband says I’m doing a great job being a mom, when the sun peaks out and we get to go for walks, when I find that tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream hidden in the bottom of the freezer!!!

I think Daniel had the same question, “Where on earth is the light in this season?” 

You know Daniel? Exiled, interpreted dreams, rose up in rank under the evil King of Babylon Nebuchadnezzar, thrown in a lion’s den, etc.

The following verses from the book of Daniel come during a time of deep darkness for Daniel, of fear and the unknown. I think in this time it would have been so easy for our man Dan to simply open the door to those feelings of darkness creeping into his heart and let them stay. 

Here is Daniel, known for interpreting dreams, and the King asks all the wise men to interpret this dream for him… but here’s the kicker… Nebuchadnezzar wasn’t going to tell them what the dream was! WOW! And if they couldn’t do what he asked, here’s their punishment: “I (Nebuchudnezzar) will have you cut into pieces and your houses turned into piles of rubble” (Daniel 2:5b) Yeah, if I were Daniel, I would have run as fast as I could out of there. I mean, yikes! That’s pretty dark! But instead, Daniel urges his friends to pray, and then when God reveals the dream to him, see what Daniel prays:

“He (God) changes times and seasons;
he deposes kings and raises up others.
He gives wisdom to the wise
and knowledge to the discerning.
He reveals deep and hidden things;
he knows what lies in darkness 
and light dwells with him.” 
Daniel 2:21-22

All throughout the book of Daniel we see him consistently relying on God for wisdom and strength, and this time is no different. At various times, Daniel’s life and the lives of his people were put at risk, but every time Daniel saw the darkness coming, every time there was a big change, Daniel, completely unashamed, turned to his God for light!

And Daniel’s God… is your God too! 

In these times of darkness it is so easy to let those dark feelings come and stay. It’s easy to feel unworthy, alone, unloved, undone, unmotivated... when we can’t see the light. 

Daniel sure had reason to feel like that. He had what seemed to be an impossible task in front of him. (Pretty similar to how I feel about getting my baby girl down to sleep, impossible!) His to-do list of “Figure out what the King dreamt & interpret it” probably felt like it would never be accomplished. If I were him, with a task like that before me I would’ve been pretty unmotivated.

But praise God, that He is a God of light! 

When all else seems dark, there is light pouring from Him, overflowing onto our lives, abundantly filling our hearts with brightness! 

And so…

when my daughter’s cries are inconsolable and the early a.m. hours become normal hours to be awake
when the laundry piles overflow onto the floor
when my arms are so fatigued from rocking her back & forth
when the snow comes and darkness in Alaska sets in
when the election debates rage on
when the virus doesn’t go away magically
when the work environment change becomes permanent and the school schedules don’t just return to ‘normal’...

...in those times remember the light that Daniel remembered. 

Remember that the God who saw the darkness of this world, so evil and corrupt, headed for eternal darkness, also saw you and said, “You are worthy. You are loved. You are not alone. I will send my Son, Jesus, to the earth to be your light! He will live in the darkness of your people but will never succumb to it. He will suffer the pain caused by sin but will be victorious. He will endure complete darkness and death so that you never have to experience it… so that you will only know light in eternity!” 

What a beautiful God we have! And what a light we have to share! 

What I love most about Daniel is how he is unashamed of his God. Hear what Daniel says when the King asks him about the dream:

“Daniel replied, ‘No wise man, enchanter, magician or diviner can explain to the king the mystery he has asked about, but there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries.’”
Daniel 2:27-28

In a moment where Daniel could have easily put himself in the spotlight and taken all the credit, he instead put the true power on the stage to shine, his God. Daniel knew the light that comes only from his Almighty Father, and he wasn’t going to hide the fact that God’s light was the star of the show.

So, be like our man Dan. Let your light shine so brightly that it oozes from every crevice of your being, when you speak, when you act, even when you simply sit and listen. Put God’s power and light on the stage of your life, because He is the source of all light in this world and the next. 

You may be going through a season of change, a time of darkness, but thankfully… you have a God whose light never goes out!