A Meeting with Jesus

It was my time to have a meeting with Jesus. You know those times where you are so low in the dumps that there is nothing to do but to talk with God. I think we have all been to that point of feeling our breaking point. My meeting with Jesus was on a January afternoon in the closed confines of an MRI machine. 

Maybe I need to back up a bit. For two years I felt sick every day with terrible digestion distress. It was a long two years of having diarrhea six to eight times a day. I had been to several doctors and run more tests than I want to describe. The breaking point was when I spent 6 days not able to keep any food or liquid down and a trip to the doctor for uncontrollable muscle spasms. I was not okay and no doctor really knew what was wrong with me. I spent nights sick to my stomach crying to be able to do things again without the pain and struggle. I wanted nothing more than to not be in constant fear of being two far away from a bathroom. I had hit rock bottom when the doctor ordered the last round of intense digestion tests. Through the next two days I was poked prodded and tested, but the last test was an MRI. I had never had an MRI before and it was safe to say I was terrified. As I stood in the prep room in a hospital gown and an IV in my arm, I tried so hard to hold myself together. The exhaustion of trying to figure out what was wrong and the dread and worry of what they would or would not find was killing me. As they led me to the imaging room, the MRI tech said, “It’s going to be claustrophobic, noisey, and dark.” Like that helped put me at ease! He continued, “We have headphones and can put on pandora. Do you want to listen to music?” I thought it over and decided to have them play some contemporary Christian music. I got on the table and closed my eyes tight and they started the MRI process. In that small and noisey tunnel, I had my meeting with Jesus. 

I spent the next 45 minutes in that tunnel talking to God. I exposed the vulnerable parts of my struggles that I acted strong about to everyone else. I released the fear of what would happen next and I was filled up with encouragement that it was all in God’s hands. As bad as this sounds, I felt almost as if I was so low that Jesus forced me to talk to him. Almost as if he cupped my face in his hands and said, “Talk to me. You need me more than anything else.” Truthfully, I needed that reminder. I had let the daily stresses and the hardships with my health overshadow the one thing that I truly needed. In my many moments of distress through the process, I had neglected the Savior who had a plan for me. How lost we can get in a world full of things that try to pull us away. 

The experience felt similar to the story when Jacob wrestles with God. In the story, Jacob is waiting to meet his estranged brother Esau. The last time that the two brothers were together, Jacob had deceived his father into giving him the family blessing instead of his older brother Esau. I imagine the thoughts going through Jacob’s head. “He must hate me. What if he hurts me or my family? The guilt is too heavy for me to carry.” The night before he was to meet his brother, Jacob had a sleepless night. During that dark night, Jacob had his meeting with God. God approached Jacob and wrestled with him all night until daybreak. Jacob didn’t let God go. He demanded that God bless him. When you are in your darkest place, the only good thing to hold onto is Jesus. After the incident Jacob realized what had happened. Genesis 32:30 says, “So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.” Meetings with Jesus happen when we least expect them and often in the strangest circumstances like wrestling with God or laying in a MRI. Jacob knew all the terrible things that could happen when he met his brother. He was so anxious and overwhelmed, God sought him out and blessed him.

Sometimes Jesus has to seek us out.

Sometimes we are like lost sheep waiting for our Shepherd.

No matter how lost you feel, you are never too lost for Jesus to find you.

Not only will he find you, but he will celebrate your return.

Think of the story of the lost sheep in Luke 15. A man had 100 sheep and one went missing. He dropped everything to find that one sheep. Later in that same chapter is the story of the lost son. A son asks his father for his inheritance and then squanders it on the things of this world. At this lowest point, the son returned hoping to at least be a servant of his father. Yet the father’s reaction mirrors how our father acts during a meeting with Jesus at our lowest point. The father said, “Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” (Luke 15:24) No matter how far the challenges and stresses of this life has pulled you or separated you from your Savior, never forget how recklessly and persistent your Savior is searching to find you. When he does find you, there is celebration and rejoicing for your meeting with Jesus.

No matter where you are in life, open your eyes and heart to be ready for that meeting with Jesus.

In the uncomfortable, Jesus finds you and fills you with his love.

In overwhelming, our Shepherd finds us and brings us back.

And in our struggles, our God meets us at our lowest and brings us close to him.