6 Ways to Support Your Husband as Spiritual Leader, Part 2

In part 1, we learned 3 ways to create an environment where husbands as spiritual leaders can flourish. Pray for him. Set him up for success. Respect him.

Being supportive is hard work, but it is work worth doing. Below are three more suggestions to help your spouse lead the way God calls men to lead.

 

  1. Forgive his shortcomings

Forgiving the men in our lives reflects the heart of the Lord and honors him. It resets the clock in a way because it does not allow the past to define the future. It nurtures the capacity in each of us to grow and change.  Encourage him to try leadership and keep trying.

A man may not readily see his lack of leadership as a shortcoming, especially if his wife is especially adept at taking the reins. He might try, blunder, and decide to give up because his wife is “more spiritual.” Honestly assessing where we as women take over too much or are too impatient is tough work and requires much personal introspection and prayer.

…and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

 

  1. Show patience with his progress

Think about why we want our husbands to be the spiritual leaders in our family.  We want what God wants for our family: to grow in grace and live out God’s purpose for our lives. Men are called to lead the family, and the Lord’s purpose is to use their leadership as a picture and reminder of the sacrificial love of Jesus.

Growing up to be like Jesus is a lifelong pursuit for every believer. It’s a journey that will have ups and downs. Thankfully, through the Word of God, Holy Spirit guides us.

A verse from Keith Green’s song, “I Want to Be More Like Jesus,” is a reminder of the ultimate goal: to be more like Jesus.

The end of all my prayers, Is to care like my Lord cares. My one and only goal, His image in my soul. Yes my weakness is revealed, When by his stripes I'm healed. He’s faithful and he’s true, To complete the work he begins in you.

 

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  1. Pray for God to make you a woman after his own heart

It has been said that the woman in the house is the thermostat, not the thermometer. She usually sets the temperature of the household. She creates the atmosphere and a safe haven for the children when necessary.

What if a husband is not leading, to the point of putting his family in spiritual or physical jeopardy? We thank another HHH blog writer, Amber Swenson, for providing an insight from a commentary on such a woman. The story can be found in Samuel 25. Abigail honored the Lord by rushing to cover over her husband's evil when he refused to help King David's men and put his family in jeopardy of death.

Now the name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. The woman was clever and beautiful, but the man was surly and mean. 1 Samuel 25:3

Per Amber's commentary: “When Nabal acted foolishly, Abigail made a split-second decision to save her household. Commentator Matthew Henry points out that by not submitting to Nabal’s wishes in this instance, Abigail submitted to what was in [Nabal’s] best interest. To not act would have meant certain death for him and all those in his household.[1]

“Godly submission doesn’t mean sitting by and letting the house or workplace fall into ruin. It means that if a husband prefers not to do family devotions and prayers, the wife does them. If he doesn’t help the children with their homework, the wife does the task.”

What Abigail did honored the Lord. In turn, she received blessings from God for doing the right thing. The Bible is full of stories like Abigail's. We are encouraged by women like her, who go the extra mile out of love for the Lord, their families and their spouses. They are honored for taking God at his Word, and following in obedience.

Blessed are those who hear the Word of God, and obey it. Luke 11:28

Proverbs 31 reveals the outcome of a wife of an obedient nature. Far from miserable, she is the center of joy. Her husband is honored by those around him. He, in turn, praises his wife. Their children rise up and call her blessed.

Don't give up. Keep praying for a godly heart. God is faithful and will hear your prayers for both your husband and you. God wants your spouse to step up and lead. He also wants you to create the environment where it is possible!

Pray for him to be a spiritual leader. Set him up for success. Respect him. Forgive him. Show him patience. Pray for you to be a woman after God's own heart.

Lord, help us to give you glory by following the plan for the family that you forged in the beginning before sin entered the world. Help my spouse to be a godly leader. Help me to support him in his efforts. Forgive us both when we fall. Lift us up and give us the courage we need to keep trying. In Jesus' name. Amen.

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20+ ways to spend time with your hubby

I've never really been the type of person that comes up with New Year's resolutions for myself. I'm not sure if I never really saw the appeal, didn't feel the need, or didn't want to set myself up for failure. At any rate, this year really isn't any different. Except, maybe one little goal for myself. Spend more time with my husband!

I like how Kelly referred to them as goals instead of resolutions. Resolutions give this idea that it's going to be difficult or that I'm going to have to change drastically. I don't want that. I just have a simple goal: Capture more moments with the man I pledged to spend the rest of my life with. This shouldn't be super difficult!

Maybe you are in my same situation? My husband and I have been married for over eight years (holy cow!!) and have a few kiddos. We are relatively busy and always have a to do list. Sound kind of familiar? When is the last time you actually went on a date? I think for us, for a one-on-one date, it was maybe in August? But truthfully, I can't even remember.

This sort of sounds depressing (especially for those of you that may not be married or have children yet!) but it isn't, really. I love my husband and family. We have many great moments that we share together with laughter and snorts and tickles. I just think that it might be a little nice to share some more one-on-one time.

20+ ways to spend time with your hubby

So, let's create a list! I mean, I'll start it! Here are ideas for dates in your house (while the kids are sleeping probably) or outside of the house (when you are blessed with a babysitter). Some of these are super chill and spontaneous, others will require some actual scheduling and planning. Enjoy!

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  1. Order take out! My hubby and I do this on occasion when we are craving certain things, but don't want to waste the extra cash on the kids who likely won't touch it anyway (ha! I'm being honest here!). Feed the kids a simple dinner. Order yourselves take out. Eat it on the couch! *gasp*  Living on the edge here people!
  2. Play a game. My husband is probably laughing at this, because I really hate playing games. Maybe someone likes them though? :)
  3. Order a meal service subscription to cook together. I've been contemplating this for my birthday. I love cooking interesting, new meals, but with kids and life, it just isn't always feasible. A special occasion, like a birthday, might warrant a time to order a new recipe (bonus: receive the ingredients in the mail!) and learn something new!
  4. Rent a movie. This is pretty self explanatory, but it's really nice to not watch Frozen.
  5. Project together. Some of our best (okay and probably our worst) moments together are when we are working on house projects! Paint a room, build a shelf or reorganize the junk drawer and laugh at all of it's contents!
  6. Go for a walk together. This one works if your kids are fairly entertained on your walk or are in strollers. Walks lend themselves to easy conversation, and fresh air is always nice!
  7. Spend some time between the sheets. I don't think this requires any further explanation!
  8. Look at old photos together. Laugh at what you used to look like! Oogle at how adorable your child was the day they were born. Reminisce of your wedding day.
  9. Make ice cream sundaes together. I never refuse ice cream! Chop up your favorite candy bars or nuts and top a big bowl of ice cream with them. Glams up the regular ol' ice cream routine.
  10. Do a Bible study together. We all need more time in the Word, why not together?
  11. Work out together. This maybe would be more hilarious than beneficial, but hey laughing works your abs too!
  12. Go for a drive. My husband and I have great car conversations. Strap the baby in the car and go for a short drive or just be willing for conversation on your next short road trip.
  13. Online window shop. Show your hubby those new shoes you've been eyeing up. Check out pinterest for new house projects to tackle. Scour for a (theoretical) new house or your dream home.

a night out

  1. Find a babysitter! This is kind of step one, right? Find someone to take care of the kids, so you can take care of yourselves for an evening! Maybe attempt to find a babysitter that can be your regular, so both you and your children feel confident in them. This makes leaving easier for everyone involved!
  2. Go to dinner. This is simple but always nice.
  3. Go to a movie. Maybe even share a popcorn and hold hands?
  4. Go for dessert. On a budget? Eat with your kids at home. Go for a drink or dessert and spend less, and pay the babysitter for less time.
  5. Go walking/running/biking/skiing/snowshoeing. Find something active outside to enjoy together. Many times this can be with kids too, but might be fun for a quick hour without them if you can steal the chance!
  6. Go shopping. While you may want to peruse the mall, find a place you'd both like to go! My hubby and I like to wander Restore on many Saturdays. Ikea without children along? Yes please.
  7. Go to a show. If dates are few and far between, make it memorable! Check out that play or concert you've been eyeing up!
  8. Relive some old memories. Did you and your hubby meet in college? Attend a college game together. Did you get engaged in a restaurant? Book yourselves a reservation. Can you remember the first place you said "I love you." Go there.
  9. Try something new. Start a new hobby together. Take a class for something you've never tried. Try a new sporting activity.
  10. Do something mundane. This is lame, but get errands done together. Stop at the bank, buy your groceries, show your husband all the "necessities" you can find at Target. Both productive and free (minus the purchases I suppose)!
  11. Plan a family date. I am a stay at home mom, so many times I do things with the kids without my husband. While the zoo, the park or the children's museum might be the same place you always go, it's more enjoyable as a couple. You can show your husband all the adorable things that your kids do.

Can you help? What are ways that you and your husband spend time together? What are thing that you do to reconnect? How do you make date night a priority? Have any ideas for in home dates? What about for the nights you're blessed with a babysitter? Simple? Complicated? Please share!

BeckySig2