Why keep my love a secret?
I've really been enjoying Kelly's encouragement from her post last week to share 31 reasons why we love our husbands throughout the month of August. I have to admit this challenge started on a day where I was anything but thrilled with my husband and was not looking for an opportunity to highlight his good qualities. But I am glad to say that this challenge has repelled those grumblings as I'm spending the day looking for the good - the blessed - the gifted to me from him.
I have shared my love for my husband with you, but you know what?
When he asked me why I was taking his picture when he was filling his water bottle... I averted his question with a smirk and shuffled away.
When he walked into the office tonight and saw the #31reasonsilovemyhusband feed up on my Facebook... I minimized it.
When I have shared on Instagram reasons that I love him ... I haven't told him.
Why? It's not like we are back in high school and I'm a bit shy around him. Though I'm crushing on him a little more lately. :) But really, his love language is "words of affirmation" and I am terrible at encouraging him with my words. So much that I have actually avoided it. ugh. It's my ugly little nature to think that the little and big things Frank does for me are expected or I that I am entitled to them. No, I should affirm my love for him throughout our daily lives and not just in August.
Words have power. I need to tell him. He needs me to tell him.
Proverbs 18:20-23 From the fruit of their mouth a person’s stomach is filled; with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied.
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.
What now? Can my husband receive goodness from me even when I don't think he deserves it? Has my positive thinking somehow made my husband a superman fulfilling all my desires? No. But my feelings on my husband should not dictate how I treat or talk to him. Intentionally thinking on the positive aspects of our relationship despite his (and my!) imperfections is good to do. Isn't that what Jesus does when he looks at me? Doesn't Jesus bring goodness, healing, forgiveness, and gentle love to me daily whether I deserve it or not? That is grace.
May I love my husband with my words. May I love him in the ways he deserves and in the ways he doesn't. That's the point of grace. Grace is underserved love.
Proverbs 16:24 Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
So what now? Should I go the whole month and surprise him with the 31 things all at once? Tell him about the challenge today and how it has blessed our marriage already? Either way I know where I need to go first. To our Lord.
Dear Lord, I have not been using my words to build my husband up. Please forgive me for the words that I have left unsaid. My husband is a gift from you. He shares your love with me. Thank you for him. Thank you for this challenge to increase my appreciation for my husband and for you. As Psalm 141:3 says, "Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips." Help me communicate my own love for him and to tell him what makes me feel loved. Lord, may your words be in my heart to bring healing, forgiveness, and growth to our marriage. Life! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
I've never been big on clicking hashtags and haven't even used one until this challenge. Shocker! :o But following #31reasonsilovemyhusband has been fun to see all the unique ways you ladies are loved. Some of you have even listed more than one reason a day! I definitely feel a greater sense of community growing at Holy Hen House that glorifies God and our marriages. If you haven't begun the challenge yet there's no reason you can't start today! Join us!
Here's one of my many favorites:
Reason #1 He puts me second. (God is in first.) #31reasonsilovemyhusband
— Linda Buxa (@LindaBuxa) August 1, 2014