20+ ways to spend time with your hubby

I've never really been the type of person that comes up with New Year's resolutions for myself. I'm not sure if I never really saw the appeal, didn't feel the need, or didn't want to set myself up for failure. At any rate, this year really isn't any different. Except, maybe one little goal for myself. Spend more time with my husband!

I like how Kelly referred to them as goals instead of resolutions. Resolutions give this idea that it's going to be difficult or that I'm going to have to change drastically. I don't want that. I just have a simple goal: Capture more moments with the man I pledged to spend the rest of my life with. This shouldn't be super difficult!

Maybe you are in my same situation? My husband and I have been married for over eight years (holy cow!!) and have a few kiddos. We are relatively busy and always have a to do list. Sound kind of familiar? When is the last time you actually went on a date? I think for us, for a one-on-one date, it was maybe in August? But truthfully, I can't even remember.

This sort of sounds depressing (especially for those of you that may not be married or have children yet!) but it isn't, really. I love my husband and family. We have many great moments that we share together with laughter and snorts and tickles. I just think that it might be a little nice to share some more one-on-one time.

20+ ways to spend time with your hubby

So, let's create a list! I mean, I'll start it! Here are ideas for dates in your house (while the kids are sleeping probably) or outside of the house (when you are blessed with a babysitter). Some of these are super chill and spontaneous, others will require some actual scheduling and planning. Enjoy!

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  1. Order take out! My hubby and I do this on occasion when we are craving certain things, but don't want to waste the extra cash on the kids who likely won't touch it anyway (ha! I'm being honest here!). Feed the kids a simple dinner. Order yourselves take out. Eat it on the couch! *gasp*  Living on the edge here people!
  2. Play a game. My husband is probably laughing at this, because I really hate playing games. Maybe someone likes them though? :)
  3. Order a meal service subscription to cook together. I've been contemplating this for my birthday. I love cooking interesting, new meals, but with kids and life, it just isn't always feasible. A special occasion, like a birthday, might warrant a time to order a new recipe (bonus: receive the ingredients in the mail!) and learn something new!
  4. Rent a movie. This is pretty self explanatory, but it's really nice to not watch Frozen.
  5. Project together. Some of our best (okay and probably our worst) moments together are when we are working on house projects! Paint a room, build a shelf or reorganize the junk drawer and laugh at all of it's contents!
  6. Go for a walk together. This one works if your kids are fairly entertained on your walk or are in strollers. Walks lend themselves to easy conversation, and fresh air is always nice!
  7. Spend some time between the sheets. I don't think this requires any further explanation!
  8. Look at old photos together. Laugh at what you used to look like! Oogle at how adorable your child was the day they were born. Reminisce of your wedding day.
  9. Make ice cream sundaes together. I never refuse ice cream! Chop up your favorite candy bars or nuts and top a big bowl of ice cream with them. Glams up the regular ol' ice cream routine.
  10. Do a Bible study together. We all need more time in the Word, why not together?
  11. Work out together. This maybe would be more hilarious than beneficial, but hey laughing works your abs too!
  12. Go for a drive. My husband and I have great car conversations. Strap the baby in the car and go for a short drive or just be willing for conversation on your next short road trip.
  13. Online window shop. Show your hubby those new shoes you've been eyeing up. Check out pinterest for new house projects to tackle. Scour for a (theoretical) new house or your dream home.

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  1. Find a babysitter! This is kind of step one, right? Find someone to take care of the kids, so you can take care of yourselves for an evening! Maybe attempt to find a babysitter that can be your regular, so both you and your children feel confident in them. This makes leaving easier for everyone involved!
  2. Go to dinner. This is simple but always nice.
  3. Go to a movie. Maybe even share a popcorn and hold hands?
  4. Go for dessert. On a budget? Eat with your kids at home. Go for a drink or dessert and spend less, and pay the babysitter for less time.
  5. Go walking/running/biking/skiing/snowshoeing. Find something active outside to enjoy together. Many times this can be with kids too, but might be fun for a quick hour without them if you can steal the chance!
  6. Go shopping. While you may want to peruse the mall, find a place you'd both like to go! My hubby and I like to wander Restore on many Saturdays. Ikea without children along? Yes please.
  7. Go to a show. If dates are few and far between, make it memorable! Check out that play or concert you've been eyeing up!
  8. Relive some old memories. Did you and your hubby meet in college? Attend a college game together. Did you get engaged in a restaurant? Book yourselves a reservation. Can you remember the first place you said "I love you." Go there.
  9. Try something new. Start a new hobby together. Take a class for something you've never tried. Try a new sporting activity.
  10. Do something mundane. This is lame, but get errands done together. Stop at the bank, buy your groceries, show your husband all the "necessities" you can find at Target. Both productive and free (minus the purchases I suppose)!
  11. Plan a family date. I am a stay at home mom, so many times I do things with the kids without my husband. While the zoo, the park or the children's museum might be the same place you always go, it's more enjoyable as a couple. You can show your husband all the adorable things that your kids do.

Can you help? What are ways that you and your husband spend time together? What are thing that you do to reconnect? How do you make date night a priority? Have any ideas for in home dates? What about for the nights you're blessed with a babysitter? Simple? Complicated? Please share!

BeckySig2

Speak Love

Something I struggle with easily on a daily basis is speaking. I am not the most conversational or extroverted person by any means. Talking to a complete stranger is not on my list of favorite things to do. But that isn't the kind of speaking that I am referring to here. I'm talking about speaking love.

speak love Maybe you have been in the same situation? I often find myself getting caught up in speaking sin. This can be shown in a number of different ways, which is why it's probably so difficult to stay on top of. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

Gossip. Slander. Ridicule. Judgement.

Do you ever get caught up in the moment? Your friend or your relative is telling you about something someone did to them, and you have to chime in about what happened to you as well? Have you ever over-shared some information to someone else without helpful construction in mind? Have you ever said anything blatantly mean or even a lie about someone? I have. More than once. (More times than I can count!)

What about your husband? Have you ever gotten caught up in the group of moms at the park talking about what their husband didn't get right this time? Have you nagged, whined, or complained about something seemingly terrible that he did?

What about in your own head? Have you listened to the voice in your head telling yourself that you are a terrible mother, wife, daughter, or friend? Have you listened to it tell you that everyone else is doing a better job, is prettier, is more fit, or has it all together while you don't?

James 3:5-8 "Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison."

That's a pretty powerful message from James. While reading this, I have the urge to kind of brush it off.  It's easy to think about all the other worse things you could be doing, but the more I think about it the more I overwhelmingly agree. In my own personal life, I find the worse my thoughts and words are, how much worse everything is. I get caught up in what the words (true or not) are saying and believe them more and more. Your mind can warp your thoughts so easily. My husband didn't take out the trash today? Well, he clearly is the worst husband ever. I can't believe he didn't take out the trash. Let's think about all the other terrible things he didn't do.  WHAT! It's outright turning into a huge lie, and quickly!

So I'm here to propose a challenge to you...

Speak love.

1 Thessalonians 5: 8, "But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet."

 

Ephesians 4:29, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

First, decide what your issue is, and tackle it with love. If you have a problem bashing your husband, compliment him. Thank him for all the nice things he does for you. Speak well of him to other people. Remind yourself of all his positive traits. If your head is constantly telling you off, write down a few personal achievements and post them as reminders around the house. Flick the tiny devil off your shoulder and ignore your mean thoughts.

Second, get in your Bible. Being in the Word often helps keep your perspective positive.

Third, pray about it! Ask for forgiveness. Ask for guidance and direction.

I think that you will find that the more positive your thoughts and words are, the more positive your experiences and attitudes with these people (or yourself) will be.

Let's speak love.

Heavenly Father, Forgive me, please. Forgive me for my unkind thoughts, for my selfish motivations, for my hurtful words. Thank you for Jesus. Thank you for salvation through Him that I so dearly need because of my sin. Help me to be positive and to be respectful. Help me to speak love about others and about myself. Amen.

 

BeckySig2

 

 

he & she

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he & she he was a college sophomore she was a freshman he caught her eye she hoped he would call he did she fell in love so did he he proposed she said yes he promised and said "I do" so did she 9 years ago

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he is adventure she is safe he challenges her to try she keeps him grounded he reads Hebrew she reads novels he has dimples she has freckles he makes her giggle she loves to hear him laugh he has brown eyes she has green he likes sandwiches she wants chocolate he needs coffee she hates the smell of it he builds she writes he preaches from the pulpit she sits in the pew he is non-stop-on-the-go she takes her time he calls her beautiful she can't believe he is hers he never stops talking she is a good listener he is a tent camper she is a comfy-bed-sleeper he is always in the photo she is forever behind the camera he wakes up early she dreams of sleeping in he dislikes dressing up she likes that his profession requires it he prefers work boots she wears cute flats he plays golf and tennis she has tried and it isn't so pretty he exaggerates she calls him out he loves and treasures her she adores and respects him

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he & she so different so opposite in many ways but that's what makes them click they fit beautifully because of Him

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Friends, have you joined in with #31reasonsilovemyhusband?? Kelly's thoughts and the heart behind the challenge are inspiring many ladies to share what they love and appreciate about their husbands during the month of August. What a fun, uplifting way to acknowledge and celebrate them!

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Why keep my love a secret?

I've really been enjoying Kelly's encouragement from her post last week to share 31 reasons why we love our husbands throughout the month of August. I have to admit this challenge started on a day where I was anything but thrilled with my husband and was not looking for an opportunity to highlight his good qualities. But I am glad to say that this challenge has repelled those grumblings as I'm spending the day looking for the good - the blessed - the gifted to me from him. IMG_0056

I have shared my love for my husband with you, but you know what?

When he asked me why I was taking his picture when he was filling his water bottle... I averted his question with a smirk and shuffled away.

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When he walked into the office tonight and saw the #31reasonsilovemyhusband feed up on my Facebook... I minimized it.

When I have shared on Instagram reasons that I love him ... I haven't told him.

Why? It's not like we are back in high school and I'm a bit shy around him. Though I'm crushing on him a little more lately. :) But really, his love language is "words of affirmation" and I am terrible at encouraging him with my words. So much that I have actually avoided it. ugh. It's my ugly little nature to think that the little and big things Frank does for me are expected or I that I am entitled to them. No, I should affirm my love for him throughout our daily lives and not just in August.

Words have power. I need to tell him. He needs me to tell him.

Proverbs 18:20-23 From the fruit of their mouth a person’s stomach is filled;     with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied.

The tongue has the power of life and death,     and those who love it will eat its fruit.

He who finds a wife finds what is good     and receives favor from the Lord.

What now? Can my husband receive goodness from me even when I don't think he deserves it? Has my positive thinking somehow made my husband a superman fulfilling all my desires? No. But my feelings on my husband should not dictate how I treat or talk to him.  Intentionally thinking on the positive aspects of our relationship despite his (and my!) imperfections is good to do. Isn't that what Jesus does when he looks at me? Doesn't Jesus bring goodness, healing, forgiveness, and gentle love to me daily whether I deserve it or not? That is grace.

May I love my husband with my words. May I love him in the ways he deserves and in the ways he doesn't. That's the point of grace. Grace is underserved love.

Proverbs 16:24 Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

So what now? Should I go the whole month and surprise him with the 31 things all at once? Tell him about the challenge today and how it has blessed our marriage already? Either way I know where I need to go first. To our Lord.

Dear Lord,  I have not been using my words to build my husband up. Please forgive me for the words that I have left unsaid. My husband is a gift from you. He shares your love with me. Thank you for him. Thank you for this challenge to increase my appreciation for my husband and for you. As Psalm 141:3 says, "Set a guard over my mouth, Lordkeep watch over the door of my lips." Help me communicate my own love for him and to tell him what makes me feel loved. Lord, may your words be in my heart to bring healing, forgiveness, and growth to our marriage. Life! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

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I've never been big on clicking hashtags and haven't even used one until this challenge. Shocker! :o But following #31reasonsilovemyhusband has been fun to see all the unique ways you ladies are loved. Some of you have even listed more than one reason a day! I definitely feel a greater sense of community growing at Holy Hen House that glorifies God and our marriages. If you haven't begun the challenge yet there's no reason you can't start today! Join us!

Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to tell us the reasons why you love your husband and then... tell him!

 

Here's one of my many favorites:

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Being His Biggest Fan

As I sit with my computer to write, I'm listening to my husband reading to our three children in the next room. Not only is the story filled with funny character voices, but over the top of them I can hear giggles and questions from the little ones sitting on his lap.

My husband is an incredible dad. I don't tell him that enough.

It's too easy when we live with someone day after day, year after year, to knit pick apart their flaws and their imperfections. It's all too easy to look at our husbands and see the areas where they need to improve and work harder.

But how often are we speaking life and encouragement into the men who lead our families each day? How often do we take a step back and appreciate the joy and blessings they bring into our lives and the lives of our children? How often do we let go of the steering wheel and give our husbands the chance to drive the direction of our families?

Let's face it, as women we have a habit of taking charge and making things happen in our way and our timing (this is no new thing, it's evident all the way back to good ol' Eve in the garden). And when our hubbies don't do things the way we would have; when they approach a situation differently, it's way too easy to step in and tell them what they did wrong and how they could improve.

However, our husbands don't need us to be their coach. They need us to be their biggest fan and encourager.

And, most importantly they need us to be their biggest prayer support. If there are areas where your husband needs to change, get down on your knees for him daily and trust God to do the changing. Open the Word of God together and let God teach him how to be a better father, leader and friend. Encourage him to take time during the day to have personal time for Bible reading and prayer. Find opportunities to compliment and praise him, and give him opportunities to step up and lead.

God didn't make a mistake when he made you and your husband into life-long teammates. God made us uniquely men and women for a reason, so take a step back and enjoy your husband for the unique joys he brings to your partnership.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. - Ephesians 4:29-32

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