“She’s just not the agreeable type.”
“No one gets along with her well.”
“We just don’t see eye to eye ever.”
“She rubs me the wrong way.”
How easy is it to say or think these things?
These phrases give us an excuse to ignore the plank in our own eye, as we stare at the speck in the other person’s eye.
There are things about certain people that annoy us, that make us uncomfortable, that stop us from forming deep friendships. All too often we dwell on these characteristics and forfeit a potential relationship or ruin an established one.
Who are you thinking about right now? Who is that person that ‘rubs you the wrong way’?
I heard a speaker say once, “Starting a relationship is all about bonding over the common stuff.”
I’m sure there are characteristics we all have that irk others, just like ‘how she copies everything everyone else does’ or ’the way she portrays herself on social media’ or ‘how she’s different when she’s around me.’
I could go on but you already have someone and something in mind that bothers you personally.
Instead of focusing on the characteristic about that person who annoys you, have you ever tried to find the ‘common stuff’ between the two of you?
Have you ever put yourself on the same level as her? What would happen then?
What would happen if instead of putting her in her place, you put yourself in her place? What happens then?
A deep, profound, abiding compassion begins to bloom.
In Colossians 3:12 God tells us to “clothes [ourselves] with compassion.”
Every morning we put on clothes and wear them around for the whole day. So when God tells you to “clothe yourself with compassion,” he doesn’t mean for an hour or a minute or a mere moment. He means we must wear compassion always; it must be present in everything we do and say, in the conversations we have, the thoughts we have, the way we carry ourselves.
Psalm 51:3 says,
Without a doubt we know that we are all sinners. Our envious thoughts, daily lies, malicious actions, jealousy, bad language, etc. all ‘rub God the wrong way.’ We never hear God say, “Well she’s just not the agreeable type” or “we just don’t get along.”
No, he says, ‘[I] rejoice over you with gladness; [I] will quiet you by [my] love; [I] will exult over you with loud singing” Zephaniah 3:17.
God sent His Son, Jesus, to become true man and walk on this earth so that he could have ‘common stuff’ with us. He felt the temptation of laziness, of envy and jealousy, of sexual pleasure, of worry and fear.
He gave up his glory, his perfect peace in heaven with his Father, to know how you feel, to walk in your shoes, to feel the darkness you feel. And then after he had felt all your pain, endured every struggle and overcame them all, living a perfect life, he died on the cross.
And who did he think of when he was up there, suffering, in pain, forsaken by God??? You.
He was thinking about you. He wasn’t thinking, “she’s just not the agreeable type.” No, he was thinking, “I have felt her pain, known her biggest temptations, and I love her all the same. She is mine. She is perfect and redeemed, a holy daughter of the King.”
So think about that person again, the one who ‘rubs you the wrong way, who you can’t seem to get along with, who you don’t dare to become fast friends with.' What’s your ‘common stuff?’
She is a daughter of the King and so are you. Jesus died for her sins and yours.
Her struggles may not be the same as yours, but they are just as important to her Heavenly
God “rejoices over [her] with gladness” just as he does with you. Think about that.
Do you feel it?
That deep, profound, abiding compassion.