when the dust settles :: thoughts on moving

fall farm hhh 1August. September. October.

I know they happened, these last three months, but they were an absolute blur.

It began that August Sunday when my husband was invited to consider a position as pastor of a little church in Maryland. From that afternoon on, our days have been a whirlwind of decisions and discussions. Prayers and packing. Tears and farewells. Moving trucks and miles logged. New faces and all.the.changes.

We operated on auto-pilot for weeks and weeks, simply doing the next thing and the next and the next thing on the list, because there was SO much to do and no time to process it all.

My head is still spinning a bit. Whew.

I still haven't had time to completely process this move and the goodbyes and all the change that has come. So maybe I shouldn't be writing about it just yet?? It might make more sense to write about something else or wait until everything is tied up nicely into a pretty bow, but here I am. With tired eyes and boxes stacked in corners and a tender heart. The dust is beginning to settle and it feels right to try to chat about the beauty God is making of this unsteady time and in this tender heart of mine.

I can sum up that beauty in one little, wonderful five letter word: Peace.

fall farm hhh 3 Peace has continued to wash over me each day. It has been the most precious gift during a difficult time and I cling to it harder than my little guy holds his favorite blue blanket. Words can't describe the heartbreak of saying goodbye to our town and community and church family of six years, but God's sweet peace and grace covered every last, every hug, every tear, carrying us through that season of hard.

And here we are in Maryland. And we are not alone.

He continues to hold me and my family as we catch our breath and find our feet in a new, unfamiliar corner of the country. He's lighting a fire in us to love and serve all of the souls He'll place in our path.

He's here and He's not going anywhere.

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But my sinful heart forgets at times.

This move and all the changes have been so humbling for me. In all of the newness, my shortfalls seem to be on full display and my insecurities bubble up and spill over. The perfectionist in me tries to scramble and cover up and fails. 

And when I fail and flail and fall, my dear Jesus is there. Always. So I lean in and let go. I read this gem aloud and let the words settle in deep.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. ~Matthew 11:28-30

So today I'm crazy thankful for peace. For a God who is kind and gentle with a girl who needs Him so desperately. For unending forgiveness and heaps of grace. For the comfort of His Word. For new friends who are welcoming us with open arms and the sweetest smiles.

And for the One steady constant in this whirlwind. Because no matter where we are, He is home.

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