This past weekend I was blessed with the opportunity to go visit my dear friend and old college roommate.
Alone. Like by myself alone, without my children.
This was kind of a big, exciting, hairy deal! While I've done this a handful of times before, it is always a welcome treat, especially for this 34 week pregnant mom of a two and four year old. (I'm tired just typing that!)
We started our time together by going to a sappy movie which required kleenex, of course. We went for a nice quiet walk in the morning. We went to brunch where I enjoyed both my meal and my chai latte while it was warm. We perused a resale shop without fear of anything being shattered. We meandered the crowded farmer's market without losing anyone. We got pedicures, shopped and lounged. It was a very relaxing evening and day, and time well savored.
Isn't it nice to take off the mom hat every now and then?
I love my children dearly. In fact, I probably talked about them most of the time I was gone. But sometimes I just need a break from being mom.
Becoming a mother was simultaneously one of the most amazing moments of my life but also one of the most life changing as well. While I gained a huge part of myself that I didn't know I could even be, I also in a sense, lost a lot of who I was. I often will catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and try to keep a straight face. Do I laugh or cry at what I see? I'm not really sure what to do sometimes! When did I become this woman who rarely fixes her hair? When did I stop really caring about what I was wearing, much less if there was a giant snot streak on my sleeve? When was it deemed acceptable to forget to brush my teeth?
I kind of lost part of myself when I became a mom.
I'm sure those of you who are mothers have felt the same way at least once. It is a huge adjustment to go from no kids to having kids. Things that once were a priority in life no longer are or can be. Hobbies change. Careers change.
However, one thing never changes.
I am a daughter of the King. I am a child of God. I am my Heavenly Father's.
I may have feelings of identity loss throughout my entire life. Life naturally progresses from being a child, to an adult, to an adult with a career, to getting married, to being married with kids, to being married with older children, to being an empty nester, to becoming a grandparent, to being widowed. We are sure to lose ourselves every now and then throughout that process. What a comfort to know that God is always there as our provider and protector. He knows our struggles and weaknesses. He guides us through life's changes and gives us the strength, courage, patience, comfort or whatever we need to keep walking through our journey of life. He is always our Father, and we his children.
Children of the heavenly Father safely in his bosom gather; Nestling bird or star in heaven such a refuge never was given.
God his own doth tend and nourish; In his holy courts they flourish. From all evil things he spares them; In his mighty arms he bears them.
Neither life nor death shall ever from the Lord his children sever; Unto them his grace he showeth, And their sorrows all he knoweth.
Though he giveth or he taketh, God his children never forsaketh; His the loving purpose solely to preserve them pure and holy.